From Men's Health · Zachary Zane · · 2m
40 Dirty Talk Phrases That Actually Work
Sex experts share phrases to boost intimacy and relationship satisfaction through dirty talk.
In brief
Sex experts share phrases to boost intimacy and relationship satisfaction through dirty talk. Dirty talk strengthens relationships by fostering mutual intimacy and consent, with 93% of women and 90% of men fantasizing about it. Originally reported by Men's Health.
Why Dirty Talk Works
93 percent of self-identified women and 90 percent of self-identified men fantasize about their partner talking dirty to them.
“93 percent of self-identified women and 90 percent of self-identified men fantasize about their partner talking dirty to them”
Psychological Appeal
Erotic stimuli like dirty talk fire up the hypothalamus, a brain region that influences sexual behavior.
“Erotic stimuli fire up the hypothalamus, a brain region that influences sexual behavior”
Relationship Benefits
Mutualistic dirty talk increases post-sex relationship satisfaction by focusing on the couple rather than individual desires.
“The more you engage in erotic talk that is mutualistic, the higher your post-sex relationship satisfaction”
Building Consent
Dirty talk helps establish boundaries and mutual understanding before and during intimacy.
“Dirty talk is a great way to build anticipation and cultivate consent, both before and during intimacy”
How to Know if Partner is Into It
56 percent of men and 53 percent of women consider dirty talk somewhat or very appealing.
“56 percent of men and 53 percent of women consider dirty talk somewhat or very appealing”
Ask Your Partner
Ask your partner if they're comfortable with dirty talk and what words make them uncomfortable.
“Ask your partner whether they’re on board, and more specifically, if there are any particular words that make them cringe or feel uncomfortable”
Dirty Talk 101: Step 1
Start with sexting to gauge your partner’s reactions virtually before face-to-face interactions.
“Start with sexting. This way, you can gauge your partner’s reactions virtually, instead of face-to-face”
Dirty Talk 101: Step 2
Practice saying racy phrases out loud alone to build confidence and reduce nervousness.
“Once you're ready to start dirty talking IRL, try saying some racy words or phrases out loud when you’re alone”
Dirty Talk 1: Set the Mood
Keep lights dim to reduce inhibition and make you feel less exposed during intimate conversations.
“Cordingley recommends keeping the lights off or at a dim level, which may make you feel a little less exposed and inhibited”
Dirty Talk 101: Step 3
Keep dirty talk short and simple with concise phrases like 'don’t stop' or 'that feels so good'.
“Start with small tidbits of positive feedback, a simple 'don’t stop' or 'that feels so good' can go a long way”
Ask Questions
Ask questions like 'Do you like that?' or 'Do you want me to make you come?' to encourage your partner.
“Ask them: 'Do you like that?' 'Do you want me to make you come?' 'Do you want me to come for you?'”
Use Your Senses
Describe your partner using your senses: how they feel, look, smell, taste, and sound.
“Use your senses to describe what you’re feeling, seeing, smelling, tasting, and hearing”
Aftercare
Follow dirty talk with aftercare to ensure mutual safety and emotional well-being after intimacy.
“Be sure to check in with your partner after sex to see how they are processing and feeling about your dirty talk session”
40+ Dirty Talk Phrases
Examples include 'You’re so sexy. I love it when you’re naked.' and 'I want to taste you.'
“You’re so sexy. I love it when you’re naked.”
Where to Get Inspiration
Read erotica or listen to audio porn for extra dirty talk inspiration.
“Reading erotica or listening to audio porn can inspire you to expand your dirty-talk repertoire”
Meet the Experts
Experts include Justin Lehmiller, PhD, Jessica O’Reilly, PhD, and Lee-ann Cordingley.
“Justin Lehmiller, PhD, is a researcher at the Kinsey Institute, a Men’s Health advisor, and the author of Tell Me What You Want”
Here's the gist
Dirty talk strengthens relationships by fostering mutual intimacy and consent, with 93% of women and 90% of men fantasizing about it.
